Identity vs. Belonging

I had a good conversation with a great friend last night. It was so nice to chat, it had been awhile. She brought up this question about Identity vs. Belonging. And, it has made me think.

I suspect that I gave up huge parts of my identity so that I could fit into my culture and my family growing up. But, I've always had a nagging doubt that I really don't fit in. And that nagging has stayed with me during school, work, and my current church.

And, it just seems to fit in with my previous post about two worlds. Perhaps in trying to fit into too many areas, I became so much of a chameleon - I lost my own likes and dislikes. That is sad.

Sadder still is that with all of that - I still never felt like I belonged. My friend yesterday asked me what would it take for me to feel like I belonged. The temptation is to say that it's my surroundings, I have to avoid people who judge, people who criticized or negative people. The reality is - most places have people like that, if not all the time, some of the time.

I believe that the key to belonging is figuring out who I am. What do I like ? What do I dislike ? What kind of things do I enjoy doing ? What do I hate doing ? Music ? Art ? Books ? What are my qualities ? What are my weaknesses ? Then being ok with those. Then finding a place I enjoy being.

That's about as close as I can come to now.