Assurance

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday. I'd had a similar one before with her. I realized that so many people are seeking a job like mine. It's permanancy, and its benefits are great. The last time around it opened my eyes to appreciating my job. It pays my bills, vacation time is good. It is permanent, and it has great health care benefits. In many ways I have not appreciated my job. I have been spoiled with having good jobs from the get go. God has really taken care of me in that area.
Since that time though, I've thought of leaving my job, and taking another one, with a lot less assurance, a lot less pay and a lot less benefits. And, have thought God was leading me to take those steps. Then, her and I chatted again yesterday and I recalled all the good things about my job (not the work or environment, but the things associated with having my job). And, I wondered perhaps all those thoughts of me moving out of my job and going to work for God were misguided. If I were to do that, my stability would be shot. And, do I really want my stability shot ?
These thoughts rolled around in my head.
Coming up here, I've realized that so many people whose life I admire - do not have that stability. And, I really do not need that stability. I do not have dependants. And, there is nothing in way of joy that stability provides me. And if I hold on to that stability - I will miss my destiny, my purpose.
It is really easy to speak of relying and being fully dependent on God. But, when it comes to quitting a stable job, not knowing how you will make ends meet, etc....then it becomes more real. And, when it comes to possibly losing my independence....again even more real. All this really does mean doing things that seem crazy and nonsensical to others.
Never fear, for now I'm not going to change anything. But, the seeds of drastic change have been planted, and watered. I'm still waiting for what and when.